Becoming an Abundance Thinker

 
 

In the 2015 book The Emotional Intelligence of Jesus, authors Roy M. Oswald and Arland Jacobson write that "emotional intelligence" is "the ability to control one's emotions -- not to put a damper on them, but be able to use emotions constructively to achieve desired goals and to form strong, positive relationships" -- and Jesus is the exemplar. We are often trained in what we need to know and what we need to do, but it is equally important that we recognize who we are in order to positively impact those around us, the authors argue.

In one weeklong workshop, the authors asked participants to identify characteristics of the worst and best bosses they have had, and the answers resoundingly point to the importance of emotional intelligence. What echoes do you hear of your own journey?

Here are descriptions of the participants' worst bosses:

  • micromanager

  • wide mood swings

  • inconsistent

  • doesn't listen

  • not interested in my personal development

  • gets defensive when challenged

  • loses temper frequently and unpredictably

  • it is his way or the highway

  • does not cover my back

  • a conflict avoider

  • nevers finds a way to compliment me

  • takes personal credit for everything

  • plays favorites

  • easily irritated

  • insecure in one-on-one relationships

And here are descriptions of the participants' best bosses:

  • has a sense of humor and is willing to laugh at herself

  • willing to admit mistakes

  • has an interest in my personal and professional development

  • takes time to listen to me

  • is open to feedback

  • goes to bat for me

  • offers constructive feedback

  • is usually upbeat and optimistic

  • exhibits self-confidence but is humble about gifts

  • elicits trust by the way he functions

  • draws out the best in me

  • tries to understand what I am experiencing personally

  • calls people on irresponsible behavior and offers a better way

  • wins people over by her authenticity

  • able to bring about resolution when conflict occurs

In our attempt to manage life successfully, we often slide into secular assumptions of what we believe really should be on the best-bosses list: polished orator, high intelligence, organizational genius, etc. But none of these made the list. Listen instead to the general craving for relationship, trust, and authenticity -- characteristics that Jesus exemplified.

Another Jesus key the authors remind us of is the difference between "scarcity thinking" and "abundance thinking": In a world of scarcity, Jesus taught his disciples to trust in God's abundance.

Listen to the authors' discussion of these two varied ways of thinking: "People with a scarcity mentality focus on limits, are able to see only their immediate needs, are fearful of loss, have diminished impulse control, focus on the short term, and see themselves in competition for scarce resources. People with an abundance mentality, on the other hand, focus on possibilities and are willing to take risks. Scarcity thinkers tend to be resentful of the success of others. They are into hoarding, into defending what they have. Abundance thinkers are generous, willing to share what they have. They have confidence that there will be enough for everyone."

Are you a scarcity thinker or an abundance thinker? How do the worst-boss / best-boss lists resonate with you? What steps can you take this week to better align with Jesus' abundance mentality and his ability to embrace his own emotions?

Blessings on your week,

Jennie

Rev. Dr. Jennie A. Harrop